Giving Up

I feel like my relationship with Gordy is pretty much over.  I’m so tired of him having his little second family with another girl from his old work. If I met some guy from work, and started hanging out with his family he would be soo mad! But he just says it’s no different than if it was a guys family. See, he was a whore before me and I haven’t completly gotten over that fact. And I keep having all these feelings that he’s not being truthful. I don’t know if I’m being paranoid, or if it is a gut feeling because of how secretive and shady he’ll act sometimes. I basically said that I would move into this place because I am paying it all anyhow besides 325, and he can just get his own place! but I don’t know.. Ugh!

And school, since I had the miscarriage, I’ve barely been doing anything. It’s like I have no motivation to do it now. I complained to Gordy and he said do it for yourself if anything …. and yes… I said I would do that..But the math is so hard and I hate poetry. I’m just giving up it seems… I have to switch from my course in math to the easy stupid math because I can’t do math through correspondence.. it’s to hard.. So I’ll have to take upgrading math classes in college. I hate poetry because these poems make no sense! It’s stupid! I don’t need to learn about poem. Ugh! I’m having a bad day in general.

I don’t have a job still because the nanny thing was a scam, I have to give job references to the future landlord tomorrow and I have none besides Gordy’s.. UGHH!!!!